Here’s what I know and what I have learnt over the years about personal change. It comes from one of two things, inspiration or desperation.
Sometimes change is forced upon us, through circumstances, but in truth those circumstances are always of our own making being sub-consciously driven to find change, linked to a deep seated sense of un-fulfilment. A seeking for something but not knowing what, I class myself in that category. Until recently, just not knowing what I want, why I am here, who I am; searching for a vehicle to deliver something, just not knowing what, how or why.
I once described this to a friend of mine as like being in a featureless landscape with nothing on the horizon in any direction. In other words any direction could be taken, but to where? And what if, when I arrived, it wasn’t where I wanted to be? The truth in that is I hadn’t decided, so the direction didn’t matter and the journey in any direction would present choices to be taken, in turn narrowing down the focus of direction. John Kanary once said to me, set a goal to have a goal, which I didn’t. I simply kept treading a path towards where I am now albeit sub consciously.
We are all where we are and it is Now.
Everything we have done has led us to this personal reality, and changing it for any of us is in our own gift, you just have choose to do it, or not.
The reality is you have to improve your own first, and work with those who want to improve theirs. That’s the tough bit because it becomes important to understand how to say no; to yourself, for wasting your time, and to others who simply want to use you as a crutch.
There is a lot to be said for tough love, of oneself and those you love and care about.
Have courage, change comes when you want it and are prepared to face paying the price to make it happen. It will be painful but ultimately unbelievably fulfilling.
I’ll help all I can.